Open your Eyes
Eye gaze and invite your partner to look at you as much and as often as you can both daily, before, during, and after sex.
Use a wide-angle mental focus
Enjoy every inch of your body and your partner’s body. Take it all in.
Rather than allowing your focus to go straight to the sexual excitement you are feeling, keep opening your focus to all parts of your body and sensations and your partner’s body. This wide angle focus will narrow frequently. It is a skill to practice directing your attention outward. Your sexual excitement will keep pulling your focus inward.
Have sex with a partner who you can share emotions with safely
If you can’t do this, it isn’t likely you will be able to open your eyes during sex and to keep a wide angle unhurried focus.
Avoid these words (in your thoughts or out loud)
Use these words (in your thoughts or out loud)
Be with, being with
I want to see you
Invitation to “look at me”
Compliments, sweet somethings/nothings
Let climax surprise you
Don’t force it or drive it or fake it until you make it. Instead, focus on enjoyment. “I’m here to enjoy the moment, enjoy you, and enjoy my body." When you enter full mind and body pleasure (instead of focusing on sexual excitement) your ability to climax will build without striving or frantic attempts to get aroused enough.