The Journey to Contentment
I have been thinking about the word "contentment" again. It is an easy word to under estimate. You don't hear many people saying "I'm content" very often.
It's a tricky word. I think that for most of us to say "I'm content", we would need life to be a lot less messy, busy, and challenging.
This is why we need contentment more than ever. If we wait for our lives to finally come together so we can quit striving and dealing with life, we surely won't reach contentment.
Let me be clear. I am talking about a personal contentment that each human can have in their mind and body. More specifically a practice of contentment.
The major reason we don't think we can be content is because we are not content inside, in our Self. Because we don't practice Inner contentment, we actually cause even more discontent for ourselves.
There is a normal and pretty predictable path that most of us follow. We look to get a sense of peace and safety from our families and communities—a form of contentment. We work to make the grade—to arrive in our careers or jobs, partnerships or our sex lives. We look for a form of contentment from a partner to reassure us that we are desirable and lovable.
This means that the contentment inside us is dependent on the "outside of us" situations and people.
When a couple or individual seeks couples or sex therapy, they are usually really discontent and really disheartened. As we do life, most of us learn that these outside based "contentments" can be unpredictable or unworkable. Our family or community isn't providing that sense of contentment. Someone we love doesn't seem to desire us. We have a sex problem that just keeps beating us down. We may feel deeply depressed, overwhelmingly anxious, unloved, or undesirable.
The part of your journey where you feel pretty hopeless is actually an opportunity. It's an opportunity to begin to practice inner contentment. You can have it even if not another soul cooperates to help you feel lovable. That's because you learn to be Responsive to your own lovability. You don't need your outside world to be all perfect in order to feel lovable, and worthy.
You are alive and so you are worthy.
The Journey to Contentment (JTC) is a model that provides a road map for navigating and overcoming difficulty in Relationships and Sexuality. The Journey to Contentment shows us why our relationship isn't working and why our sex lives are a problem.
Most importantly, it points us to what we can do to heal our pain and reset our relationships, sexuality, and sex lives.