Be A Kind Person For Yourself
When you are kind, you get the benefit as much as the person you are kind to!
Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor at University of California, Riverside, says that kindness is good for the health and well-being of both the giver and the receiver. When we act or think with kindness towards others, we actually see them in a more positive light. The act of being kind changes our perception of the person we are engaging with. We also get a boost to our self image because we feel altruistic and generous.
Acts of agenda-less kindness needn't be anonymous nor grand. The most meaningful ones are often small and targeted toward solving a specific problem, like offering jumper cables to a stranger whose car battery needs a charge or helping a fellow passenger lift a heavy bag in to the overhead bin on a airplane. Mindful Games pg 163, by Susan Kaiser Greenland.
You can use meditation to help yourself be more kind. One kind of meditation that has many variations is a "kindness" meditation. The basics are that you express (think kindly towards) kindness to yourself first, to others you care and do life with, then a broader circle of people, and lastly someone you don't care for or are upset with.
The meditation consists of focusing on statements of hope for yourself or the person. It is powerful to deliberately focus a sense of kindness or best wishes on a person. Try it! Most people who do this kind of deliberate thinking and focus, feel more at peace, more kind in their attitudes.
So here are some examples of the language you could use to work on a more peaceful kind attitude.
Start with yourself first. Begin with "I hope I am". When you are ready to move to someone you love, others from your broader circle, or someone you are having a hard time with use " I hope or I want".
Here is a list of examples:
I want to be happy and strong
I hope I feel peaceful and content
May my old hurts fade away
I hope you are happy
I want you to be safe, strong, and healthy
I hope you are content
I want you to have what you need
I'd like everyone to be happy, healthy, and safe
I want all of us to be strong and live together peacefully
I hope that everyone has what he or she needs
I'm grateful for ______ about this person
The ideas in this article were largely adapted from the book Mindful Games by Susan Kaiser Greenland 2016. Shambala Publications